hey jules! this guy needs to switch it up
on fixations, dating, and bring a picky eater
Hey Jules!
The guy I’m hooking up with eats the same thing for dinner. Every night. Every night he crawls to his bodega between 3-5 am and orders the same sandwich. Every night- even when I am not there keeping him up till 3-5 am. On our first date he said he cooks but I have since found out that means frozen lasagna in a microwave. He’s otherwise so hot and wonderful it really is an eyebrow raiser.
– Wheat bread, American cheese, grilled chicken and a side of ranch
hey, wheat bread, american cheese, grilled chicken and a side of ranch,
sounds like you should let him go!
hope this helps!
xo
jules
hey jules! is my advice column, remember?
questions are answered in the order in which they are received <3
i make myself laugh <3
so it sounds like one of a few things:
he’s kind of lazy and/or spoiled and doesn’t know how to cook for himself (aka never learned how)
he doesn’t know how to cook yet, but he’s considering trying to learn and will get it eventually (or not)
he’s got a bit of a fixation/food anxiety/other thing that we don’t know/can’t diagnose that lends itself to this kind of behavior
he’s just got a thing for sandwiches
good thing he’s hot, i guess. maybe it’ll be easier to get over this whole sandwich thing. or, you know, maybe not.
i say all of this to say: is it worth dropping him? you can always end things if you think it’s enough of a dealbreaker. Just Sex means you don’t have to accept, compromise on, or see past any traits that don’t pass the vibe check. protect your peace! if that quirk of his gets to be too much: you can skedaddle at any time. i’m a big fan of leaving a situation if you’re not down to go to Pound Town anymore. it’s an unfortunate truth (particularly for the other person), but we don’t owe anything to the people we see Casually. you have the right to rip the bandaid off quickly, but no ghosting!! if you’re going to be bold enough to decide to end it the least you can do is communicate that. you don’t have to dive into the real reasons, you don’t even have to be honest, just get it done. you know, if you wanna.
side note: how many times have you been hanging out that you know his order by heart? how Casual is it if you’re hangin’ that often? if you’re at his place you might as well get the kid a cookbook and make something together. wait, that’s a date, isn’t it? do Just Sex couples go on dates? you said you had gone on a first date, so where’s the line? maybe if you hang out with him less this will feel less odd and perplexing. you can always fuck someone else who doesn’t have a hankering to eat the same exact thing every day. i’m sure there’s a person out there that fits the mold.
if you want to keep fucking this guy you’ve got a few options, but all involve actually talking to him in-depth, which can skew the Just Sex part to somewhere a bit more Personal. having a chat about it (“hey, what’s the deal with all the sandwiches?”) could really help. you can always just shut your eyes to the fact. ignorance is bliss, i guess. if i’m so honest, though, i’ve never (successfully) engaged in a Just Sex Thing with anyone, so i don’t know where the line between Casual and Not-Casual begins and ends. i’d imagine that if you dig too deep, you might get caught up in some weird conversations. if you want to know more about the guy whose peepee you touch (Casually) a bit more, great, but if you’d like to remain calm, cool, and surface-level, i’d advise against it. this sounds like it might be a bit close to him, whether he realizes it or not, so i’d say you’re better off asking as chill as you can, or don’t ask at all.
i just spent this whole time acting like i don’t know who you are and that you haven’t asked (told) me to answer this question multiple times. that answer was what i’d give to someone i don’t know. you can find my ([one of] your best friend's) answer to you and your real identity at the very top of this post. <3
thanks for trusting me! i love you!
xo
jules
hey jules! is my advice column, remember?
questions are answered in the order in which they are received <3